Anger: How Do You Handle It? (The Truth & Freedom Series)
Nice article. But it is important we know how to handle our anger. We must acknowledge that some anger is a valid, necessary, appropriate and unavoidable human emotion. It is not a question of whether we experience anger as much as how we deal with it. The very basics and origin of anger as well as any other negative emotions is FEAR.
Good article, by the way. Maybe anger's association with violence is creating the fear for many. I have often felt neanderthal-like in my relationship with anger. But I am a simple guy who believes of the truth in nature. Believing that our culture dismisses many important truths in life. Thank you for your article. Thank you for caring. I have a psychologist that believes many fear their own anger anxiety and our most intense anger is repressed. Repressed anger has a lid on it called depression. Infantile depression does exist. It is carried on into adult life and perhaps for life.
There is no fear of it after it is vented.
Therefore, no depression. Yes, I agree with most of what has been written by Mr Daimond. I am also aware of the opposition to this therapy, because it certainly CAN stir up a therapists own emotions. I wish I had read this years ago. I Love someone "T" who expresses his Fear, or use to express his fear by raising his voice, shouting, shaking, getting right in my face screaming, that I was being unfaithful to him.
I never was unfaithful to him. This started with him getting upset when a tax man would call. I definitely told the man I was only interested in getting my taxes filed. I even told taxman not to call me again and that he was being disrespectful by using my number. I finally put taxman on the right page. He called me disrespectful when I was speaking to my ex-husband on the phone at his house. I forget who called. It would have been me returning his call or my ex calling me.
I remember "T' getting mad at me at work for just smiling and walking by him and one of his co-workers. I should have stopped and hugged or kissed him. I give him that one.
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I had told him I dated a couple of men who had children at the school. These were eligible men who could date. We were not sneaking behind anyones back. I think I even told him who. I convinced him I was not a horrible person but was hurt by things he said. He visited a pastor to speak with him before he really thought that incident was fine. He watched them leave the hotel. Then it was Guy2 asking my now fiance questions about how we meant, He accused me of, or that guy of wanting to be with me. This was a a friend's Nancy's party. Then it was strange that Nancy misplaced her phone and called me on Guy2's phone.
I would always tell "T" I was not being with anyone not even interested in anyone else which was and still is true. I started to get nervous whenever I was gone too long because he and my mom would accuse me of staying at work to get away from them. I remember him calling me when I was in bed half asleep.
I answered the phone but the person had hung up. He asked me who it was I tried to look to see and say my son's name come up. I think I pressed his number and asked my son was everything ok. It was not my son who called is what I later found out. I suppose I could have checked my phone more carefully.
When there’s too much anger in the family, what’s needed?
It was Tommy who called. So Tommy was angry and said I lied on purpose and that I knew it was not Greg. I swear I must have looked at the phone wrong. There is more is anyone listening. I love this man but I got scared, nervous, I feared hurting him living this way with him always accusing me. He and my mom getting angry when I worked late. It was work. I made the huge mistake of getting scared, then depressed, I talked to someone for a few months.
I didn't want to be depressed but I wanted "T" to know I loved him. I told "T" no more at a parkign lot.
I took my clothes from "t"s home. Then I realised he couldn't help the way he felt and I just needed to prove to him I was not cheating. Been trying to do this. I want to be on the same page as this guy.
Is he trying to say that when treating anger patients- some psychotherapists refer to anger as a secondary emotion and therefore minimize its importance? Just because therapists call anger a secondary emotion doesnt mean that it should be overlooked as important. It's very important- but that doesnt mean it's a primary emotion. Thank you very much for your writing here. I am an individual with anger issues and I was taught to repress my feelings by therapists. I fear it.
I fear it for what it may do to my family and friends. I fear it because I see what people do in anger. At the same time I feel we live in a time of turbulence in our world. I feel there are many things in our world it is appropriate to feel angry about and not just want but need to fight against for the purpose of civil rights.
Which is another problem that feeds into our anger and builds even more of it. Without the expression of anger many issues thus far would not have been resolved.
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See any historical revolt against a tyrannical hierarchy. It took the people getting really angry about their lives. The problem isn't what anger drives us to do as suggested in the article after this one. That can be mitigated and controlled. Despite my fear of my anger even when I'm angry I have been in control of myself. Doctor Steven Stosny sees angry people as just rampant uncontrolled individuals. But that's not how anger always works. For people who feel a lack of control in their lives perhaps, but that also means they are going to be out of control in their other emotions too.
Those are behaviors and can be changed. Emotions on the other hand are responded to by the individual feeling them. I have a neurological disorder that causes mild epilepsy, but am a very logical individual. Even when I'm angry I'm at least still able to control my physical actions. One who does not practice control will not have control. One who understands and works with their emotions will gain control of them. Not one who fights their emotions and tries to ignore them. I didn't finish the article after you asserted that a secondary emotion is less significant than the underlying cause.
Its called a secondary emotion because it comes after, not because its anything less than its trigger. Introverts may need more sleep than extraverts during this holiday season. What can we learn from Ebenezer Scrooge about transcending bitterness? When someone goes for "therapy" today, what are they really getting? Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. When Should You Share a Secret? What Is Catastrophizing? Stephen A. Diamond Ph.
Anger - Wikipedia
The Primacy of Anger Problems Anger is a primary emotion. Be sure to read the following responses to this post by our bloggers:. Anger Submitted by alan on January 18, - am. I quite agree that anger is not only highly condemned in the family home, but in therapy, too. What good is it? Submitted by ChuckK on January 18, - am. I think you missed the point Submitted by John Walt on January 19, - pm.
My Response to Dr. Stosny Submitted by Stephen A. Anger Mismanagement: Reply to Dr. Stephen Diamond you are a gem! Submitted by Peter Vincent Green on April 9, - am. Registered in Scotland under charity number SCO Our Centres Cont Jesus welcomed the people, taught them about the Kingdom of God and healed those in need. Luke Excellent teaching! I have so enjoyed this course Read More Weekend Event. Select a date below to view event specific information:. How do we handle it?
There will be opportunity during the course to receive personal prayer ministry. Teaching topics include: The causes of anger Looks at some of the causes of anger such as injustice, betrayal and failure.
How we handle and express anger How we can deny and bury our anger or perhaps choose to avoid or ignore it. The godly expression of anger The biblical view of anger and our rightful need to express anger. Maintaining a healthy approach to anger Examines ways in which we may need to change our attitudes and behaviour. Full Calendar of Events.